There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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