You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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