Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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