Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
