You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
