Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
