found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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