There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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