she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
