another moral hangover. fuck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
