I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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