They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm too high and old for this...
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