before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
