So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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