HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
