love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
