Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
