***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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