just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
