i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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