Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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