**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
