You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
