now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
