She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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