Are we in a gay sports bar?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
