you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
