i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
