ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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