so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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