Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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