Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
