weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
