I can tuck mytits in my pants
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
