It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
