Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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