I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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