She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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