i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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