So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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