i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
