first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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