Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
