just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
