quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize