We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
