this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
