Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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