Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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