'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
