i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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